I don't want to know how the world keeps turning. I don't want to know why we keep electing idiots to Congress. I don't want to know who's responsible for all the horrible reality shows. I don't want to know what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. I don't want to know where I misplaced my keys. There's really only one thing I'd like to know: what the hell is a Vandella, a Shondell, and a Belmont? 
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