Post Optimism

     In my town, a country road called Old Farms ends at Route 10, also known as Waterville Road. There's a traffic light there, but a sign on the signal says No Turn on Red. However, another sign off to the side of the road, attached to a post in the ground, says that if you pull your car up level to the post, it will speed up the activation of the green light.
     I don't believe it.
     I've pulled up to the post many times, and it doesn't seem as if the green light appears any quicker than it would if I stayed a foot or two behind it.
     Whenever I'm at that T-intersection I'm reminded of my childhood infatuation with making home movies. I had a small super-8 movie projector, and there was a tiny tab near the top that said "Pull to speed up rewind."
     I never believed it.
     Pulling that tab, which I did every time I used the projector, never changed the speed of the rewind. It always took forever.
     I'm convinced that the tab wasn't connected to any damn thing, just as I'm convinced that the post on the side of Old Farms Road isn't connected to any damn thing, either.
     There's really nothing much to do about all this, except perhaps to write about it. How about as part of a book? I'll write a proposal and a sample chapter, and mail it to a publisher. I'll be sure to include a self-addressed stamped return envelope, because I once read that using a self-addressed stamped envelope speeds up a response.