Climbing the Walls

I have literally dozens of pet peeves. And as opposed to literally millions of other people, when I say literally I mean literally. One of my pet peeves is when people use the word literally for something that is so obviously figurative. Like, “I’m literally going to scratch your face off.” Or “I was literally climbing the walls.” So often I’m tempted to say, “Okay. Prove it.” Literally.

But I admit, I might be of the minority opinion here, and the only reason I say that is because I hear newscasters and other media people who normally are much more meticulous in their choice of words using ‘literally’ simply to make a point.

So I asked noted grammarian Patricia T. O’Conner, who has helped me on a few other projects over the years, about the word. Patricia is the author of “Woe is I,” among other books, and she wrote me an email saying,

“In contemporary usage, literally means actually or to the letter. It doesn’t mean figuratively or virtually or emphatically, though it’s often used that way.” Patricia said it has a long and complicated history. She said that so many people have been using it to mean figuratively that the looser meaning is showing up in dictionaries now. She ended her email by saying that she doesn’t endorse that usage, but acknowledges that there’s a case to be made for the looser meaning.

So should I take this one off my pet peeve list? I literally can’t decide and am tearing my hair out over the indecision. I guess it has something to do with the fact that it lessens the precision of the way people talk and converse and describe things which, as a writer and speaker, makes me uneasy. But maybe that’s a good thing for me as a professional: If I’m precise in my work, and nonprofessionals don’t have to be, it makes it all the more justified that I should be paid well for doing what I do.

Then again, I’m not paid all that much, which is a completely different pet peeve. I’ll get to that one soon. At least before the cows come home.