Mourning Morning

            I try to get my daily news from the morning television programs. Well, at least yesterday’s news. Since the stress and tension of the day hasn’t really begun yet I find it a little easier to absorb what’s going in the world, locally, nationally and globally. No way can I deal with all that later on. Plus, regardless of how distressing the news really is, when I feel refreshed after a hot shower and I'm reclining on a comfortable couch with a delicious cup of coffee and a tasty bran muffin with no-cholesterol egg whites inside, it makes the news a little easier to digest.
            This morning, as soon as I turned on the TV I saw an ad that told me it was a good time to buy a Honda Accord—even though I have no desire to buy a car right now, Honda or otherwise. That ad was followed by one for Xfinity, which I’m led to believe is the future of awesome. I didn't know that. Then I learned that Ford technicians are ready to select the right tires for me. I didn't know that, either.
            I may not have known it, but neither did I care. So I changed the channel. As soon as I did, the first thing I found out was that I could save a ton of money with Nationwide Insurance—but the very next ad, which followed on its heels, was for a pill that will stop me from going to the bathroom all the time. Simply hearing the word insurance reminded me that I had to pay my healthcare premium later in the day. As soon as I stopped thinking about the exorbitant premium I heard the announcer talking about potential side effects to that pill, which in addition to high blood pressure and bleeding also included dizziness and headaches. Interesting: those last two were already happening to me just by watching the ad.
            So I changed the channel once more and heard a phrase, attributed to Vonage, that I’ve been unable to attribute to any other company with which I’ve personally dealt over the last few weeks. The phrase was Award Winning Customer Service. I started to laugh--who gives good customer service these days?--then stopped when I heard in the very next ad that sweet and salty are delicious together. But I didn’t stick around to find out exactly what sweet-and-salty combo was delicious because by then I had finished my coffee and muffin and had to leave the house. Without hearing a solitary item of news.
            Maybe that is the news.
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JoeltheWriter