Joel O'Samberg, I Assume

Last week it was St. Patrick's Day. I mention it simply because I'm not Irish, but could be. You see, as I was growing up, a lot of people thought I was. Red hair and freckles and all. I never minded too much. Sometimes it was a little easier than being assumed a Jew. Not that I ever minded being known as a Jew; after all, I was as proud of that as anything else, as much of my writing attests. But I just don't like assumptions, that's all. I hate assumptions. So when people asked me if I was Irish, I would say no but was secretly happy that an assumption hadn't been made that I was nothing but Jewish. Of course, whoever asked was assuming that I was Irish. But that was different. Just don't assume I can explain why.

It's not just the red hair and freckles. Don't we often associate corned beef and cabbage with Irish cuisine? Well, take away the cabbage and I could be as Irish as they come. Take me to any kosher deli and you'll see me dive into one of those piled-a-mile-high corned beef sandwiches on rye with mustard. Unhealthy as hell, but a hell of a good sandwich.

With curiosity piqued, I did some internet research and discovered that a president of Ireland was known to have been of Jewish descent, and that a former president of Israel was born in Belfast. Also, an area of South Dublin used to be known as Little Jerusalem, and there's an Irish pub on Jerusalem Avenue on Long Island. So if for some reason I have to be Irish for a while, there's plenty of precedence for me, a Jew, to feel part of the history.

Here's another thing. I've been trying to make my mark as a novelist and playwright for years, yet so far haven't had much success. But remember Frank McCourt? The Irish gentleman who wrote "Angela's Ashes," a book that won the Pulitzer Prize for Autobiography? McCourt started writing professionally when he was older than I am now, and won the Pulitzer when he was 67. I wouldn 't mind following in his Irish footsteps. I'd just better stop eating corned beef sandwiches if I want to be around for that to happen.