One Sheet to the Wind

            A couple of days ago I posted a “Hey, You Never Know” blog about a pet peeve, and I heard from many readers with peeves of their own. Just so happens that I had another blog waiting in the wings under the same general topic that I was going to hold off running until early next year. But it was my turn to change the sheets this morning, so I’ll run it today. You’ll understand why in a few moments.

            There are some peeves that you just can’t pin on anything specific. Maybe those are the most peevish because you don’t know where to direct your frustration. Take those idiotic fitted mattress sheets, for instance. How many times have you gotten three corners all tucked nicely into the corners of the mattress only to have one pop out the moment you attempt the fourth? It’s almost 2014, for crying out loud. We put on a man on the moon 44 years ago. I guess my peeve isn’t about the fitted sheet, but about the fact that no one has come up with something better. How about a fitted sheet that starts out not fitted, but then you pull on a string or press a button and all of the sudden it becomes fitted? Or a sheet slightly smaller than the mattress that you throw on top, and once you spray on a special formula it just grows into a fitted sheet? (No, not a Chia Sheet.)

            What’s the bottom line here? Is my pet peeve the fact that fitted sheets haven’t changed much in over a hundred years? Because if that’s the case, then I’ll have to start to count dozens of other things as pet peeves, like car batteries that can still die or real estate agents who still stretch the truth in order to make a sale. Or is my pet peeve the fact that we even need fitted sheets in the first place? Why do they have to be fitted? They get pretty ruffled up anyway, and no one ever sees them. Why not just two non-fitted sheets, one on top of the other?  

            Okay. I’ve given it some thought. And I’m man enough to come out with the truth. The issue is that when it’s my turn to put on a new fitted sheet I end up yelling and cursing, but when it’s my wife’s turn, she does it without any trouble at all. So maybe my pet peeve revolves around the fact that my wife can do something better than I can.

            Actually, that’s not a pet peeve. That’s life.

__________________________

Speaking of real estate agents, visit Amazon to read up on my short and inexpensive e-book, "I Would Rather Have Root Canal Once a Week for the Rest of My Life Than Ever Buy a House Again." It's a true story, unfortunately.